hanya itu sekarang yg harus kulakukan

maaf jika diri ini tak memedulikanmu
rasanya seperti kehabisan asa
aku sekarang hanya ingin menyelamatkan hatiku
yang begitu tersiksa karenamu
aku harus berlari tanpa melihatmu
aku harus terbang tanpa memedulikanmu
selalu ku berkata padamu
aku hanya ingin dihargai
meski terdengar sia-sia tapi hanya itu pintaku
berapa banyak air mata dan hati ini terus berkorban untukmu
dan sampai detik ini kau pun tak pernah menyadarinya
sampai akhirnya aku pun menyadarinya
bahwa sampai kapanpun permintaan maaf itu tak akan pernah terucap olehmu
yang ada hanya tangisan pilu hatiku
dan ketidakpedulianmu di setiap airmataku
untuk itu kuselamatkan hatiku
sebelum kau smakin menghancurkanku dengan smua pikiran dan sikapmu

saat langit tersenyum dan sang surya memancarkan sinarnya
semua terasa begitu hangat dan lapang
saat kau tau ternyata kau berusaha sekuat tenagamu
tetapi sekitar hanya menatapmu kosong dan tak berharga
bahkan mungkin tak pernah menggapmu ada
sedih bolehkah?
apa aku yang terlalu terbawa perasaanku?
kenapa ya aku mudah sekali bersedih hati dan menangis?
seperti katanya aku begitu lemah dan tergantung pada mereka
aku ya?
iya aku adanya yang begitu rapuh
dan selalu dipermainkan
atau aku yang membuat diriku dipermainkan?
terkadang aku bingung
apa sebenarnya tak boleh bersikap tulus dan rela berkorban bagi yang kau anggap berharga?
atau aku yang terlalu berlebihan sehingga semua sia-sia?
terkadang ingin lari dan bersembunyi
seperti pengecut ya?
iya tapi aku begitu lemah sekarang meski senyum masih menghiasi wajah kecilku
masih memperlihakan mereka bahwa aku adalah yang paling bahagia
aku selalu kalah pada perasaanku
kalah dan menderita pada akhirnya

prj? again!

hahaha it was saturdat night, my sister was comin from bandung to jakarta to spend her holiday and my cousin asked us to come to prj to watch glenn fredly and tompi performances, yippiii yeeee
hahaha before we go to prj we just come to our grandma's home in kebun jeruk we fill our stomach before we go to prj hehehe it was because food and some drinks there it was so eeeexpensive.
so we're worrying because we feel afraid that we're gonna get the traffic jump, and you know the road is so smooth,what happen?
mmmm
we think that almost people in jkt comes to bandung to spend their long weekend and come to new game in bandung TRANS STUDIO bandung aaaaaaaahhhh wanna go thereee
soo the road in jkt is sooo smooth and we didnt get the traffic jump,horaaay :)
tompi performances was quite good but i dissapointed with glenn fredly performannces
he just sang little songs and he didnt song my favorit songs aaaaaaaahhhh
so dissapointed :(


but its okeeey lah yaaa it was quite entertaining hehe
sssssttt actually we go to prj just only watch the performances not the store inside hehehe ;p

yeaah! but ?

yesss finally i can watch live sheila on 7 performance
thanks God
i love duta voice, so soothe
i love so many song especially terimakasih bijaksana, saat aku lanjut usia, and tunjukan padaku
but only saat aku lanjut usia they play the song
you know in every crowded people
suddenly i feel so sad and melancholy haha
i think i miss someone
but i just keep singing and dancing a little even the tears slowly comes down a little in my eyelid
huaaaaaaaaaaaa

nice Mr.

this is my third day i work in PT ITM, i am as an admin project management in IT division
this office like i ever dream before
i've seen the office like this in film maybe ;p
now i'm here seat in my room with imagination ofiice in the past
and now it becomes real haha
i have a head boss in IT Division from Hongkong
she is a woman if i'm not wrong her name is KunBup
what a name! haha
yes my cousin says that she is very dicipline
and every employee here never comes late
beacause KunBup always give them warning haha
oh ya i yesterday i was join the meeting with all the stakeholders in every site of ITM company
with video conference, how cool!
my boss Mr. Rio ask me to join the meeting as a secretary yah maybe i called it
to make some kind of summary but here we said it is MOM (Minutes of Meeting)
in the beginning i was so nervous whereas i just only sit,listen and make a notes haha
but as a time running slow but sure i feel comfort and confidence
i never imagine that this company have this cool technology haha
even in this conference there's a delay and sometimes we can catch the conversation all the time
but very very cool!
i made a summary in indonesia and i translated to english
i told my boss and say sorry if my english not good at all haha
and i give him that and you know what this morning i've received an email from my boss
and you know? my summary sent to the all of stakeholders email who's join the video conference yesterday!
oh my! i feel ashamed with my english haha :D
but thats life we can learn from the mistake hehe
so keep work!

new life is destiny

starting a newlife, learning and always keep fighting
not easy at all, but have to stay and defense
how to make my self move on and growing
sometimes the pain comes little and hiding
come up and hiding again
but this life is destiny
so i have to enjoy all the time
even sometimes its ruin a little
but just keep strong, strong and strong
because life is too fun to spend by the hatred
so just enjoy the sadness, happiness in your life
because life is your DESTINY :)